parenting the son of god
You sometimes wonder about Jesus’ relationship with his parents- did his parents ever accuse him of abandoning them, or treating them as ‘second rate’, or were his parents cold towards him and show him enough affection? Obviously Jesus never sinned, so his response to any wounding would not have been retribution but an offer to reconciliation. But something, for me, lingers.
If Jesus was fully human (and fully God), then he must have felt SOME kind of woundedness from his parents. He must have internalized the hurtful comments, or misunderstandings about his ministry. Even his own brother James is said not to have believed in Jesus until after Jesus’ death and resurrection. So if his family did wound him (which all families do), then he must have felt the pain in some way.
The reason I ask the question is two fold; 1) If Jesus felt woundedness from his parents, how did he deal with it? 2) Besides the Sunday School answer of “Because He was God”, how was Jesus able to rise above retribution and anger for his family’s problems? (Like I said, every family has their closets.)
My mind immediately goes to Jesus relationship with His Father in heaven. Before you yawn at this, and begin dozing off, hear me out…Jesus practically and purposefully must have relied on this relationship with His Father God in very real ways during the day- how else could he have gotten through the constant misunderstandings his family mus have had about him?
If you read the gospels, He is constantly taking time to actually listen for the Father’s voice in prayer, during His ministry, and while he is teaching his disciples. Sometimes he doesnt even wait for the isolated spot on the hillside, he simply speaks and what He hears His Father saying. This is the kind of intimacy that this blog is dedicated to…real, practical, and personal intimacy with the Father God- letting God father you through all of life.
As ordinary (but specially chosen) human beings, Jesus’ parents were sinful just like any one of us- greed, pride, anger, selfishness, distrust…you name it, they felt it, thought it, and did it. It is still just as amazing, even though Jesus is fully God, that in his humanity he honored his mom and dad and didnt seek retribution or repayment for their evil deeds against him. He loved them, and demonstrated extraordinary patience for them. So much so, Mary was still at the cross when Jesus died. This could have only come from his intimacy with the Father God, even though he experienced real wounding from his own parents.
Last month I went to a mens conference hosted by John Eldredge of ‘Ransomed Heart Ministries’ in Buena Vista, CO. We left with a picture of how our own earthly dads treated us, and how we treated them. My life was filled with retribution and repayment for the wrongs against me. Some real, and some made up in my mind. I knew I needed to talk to my dad when I returned from the conference to be able to clear the air, and follow Jesus’ model of reconciliation and restoring those old, broken places in our relationship with my mom and dad.
We had them over for dinner one evening, the week I returned from CO. The conversation paused for a bit, and the Holy Spirit kicked me in the teeth and said “Jeff, are you going to ‘man up’ or was it all about a stupid conference?” I set my fork down, swallowed my sense of dignity, and asked my mom and dad if I could share something with them. They got scared initially and then agreed. What followed was a free conversation of affirmation, love, encouragement, and hope for a bright future between us, my wife, and my two kids. We left that conversation with a new freedom in the air, and the ability to express love to one another that hadnt been there before.
I wish I could tell you that my dad said a lot of mushy things, but thats not my dad. I know he loves me, and he knows I love him. We’re working on the intimacy of our relationship because it really has never been there before. Hopefully this small step will lead me to a greater intimacy with my Father God, and eventually influence my parents to become followers of Jesus- who would do anything to see his parents in a love relationship with His Father.